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The Benevolent Love Bomb

Monday, June 29, 2009

The term “love bomb” has an iffy pedigree, an association with cults and the recruitment of love-starved loners. I went on the offensive and love-bombed him. Sparkly sparkle charm quarks pinging out of my eyes, gosh he was the nicest man I had met all day ping ping, I would be so grateful for any […]

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Dare to Be Vulnerable

Monday, June 1, 2009

What keeps us from showing our vulnerabilities? For me, it’s the fear of being teased or derided or – worst of all – pitied. Better to be on the safe side and keep my true but imperfect self hidden, I reason, rather than expose myself to ridicule. Sad choice. And one I must now argue […]

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Love’s Slope

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Scree slopes of little moments compose the mountains of our relationships. We slide around, grabbing for footholds. We stretch out our arms for balance, fall, and lift handfuls of history. The ugly dress she wore on the first date. The way he held the hurt bird. The clouds that day. The small bed. Your brother’s […]

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Differentiation and Intimacy

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Differentiation is the process of holding on to one’s self while connecting with others. As a path to true intimacy differentiation is hard to beat. Which is not to say that the path is all shining sun and roses, but committing to being true to one’s self, particularly when there’s pressure not to, brings deep […]

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