Skip to content

Fear and Change

Skydive Vietnam, Mario and James, by divemasterking2000“To end suffering, let go of what changes”
~ Gavin De Becker, The Gift of Fear

“When you realize that change depends on relationships, then you can seek a ‘change agent’ much as you do any other important, emotionally charged relationship with a person or community. … [And] when you find the right relationship, anything is possible.”
~ Alan Deutschman, Change or Die

“Fear is excitement without breathing.”
~ Fritz Perls

* * *

Flickr photo: Skydiving Vietnam, Mario and James, by divemasterking2000

Specifics Trump Stereotypes

Who dressed YOU?, by juhansoninOur landlord, who lives downstairs, is a 70-year-old Chinese man who’s a crazy-great ballroom dancer. He’s gotten several patents on inventions he’s made since he retired. He sings heavily accented cheesy 70s pop hits at the top of his lungs and he’s pretty good at it (my husband and I always stop to listen). He hasn’t raised our rent in six years because he likes us so much. He calls me “Lady,” knows I’m the mechanic in the family, and lets me borrow his tools.

Like all of us, he’s a miracle of contrasts and intriguing details. Specifics trump stereotypes (elderly Chinese retired mechanic) every time.

In Chicago, years ago, a black man I passed on a busy downtown sidewalk yelled at me, his face contorted with anger and pain. “You’re prejudiced against blacks, against me! I know it!” I kept walking – I’m not stupid, but the moment has stuck with me. What did he see when he looked at me? A white girl with a serious face? Whatever he saw, he didn’t know any of my details. I was only a stand-in for whatever originally caused his pain.

Details form us. Alfred North Whitehead said, “We think in generalities, but we live in details.” Knowing details about people and sharing our own details brings us closer, puts us into perspective, gives us context and the clarity of focus, connects us.

(Straight middle-aged female Canadian) I’ve lived in more than 70 places in two countries (so far). I love gay romance stories because our society’s kept them hidden for so long. A psychic once told me this is my first incarnation as a woman. I’m 48 and skinny, but strong – I do the heavy lifting at home. I speak decent German and fluent Deep South. I recognize fake southern accents in movies. A doctor told me that, based on the way my scars heal, I probably have southern European or African DNA.

I believe anything is possible, including the collection of details as a path to peace, including a handshake where once there was a fist.

Flickr photo: Who dressed YOU?, by juhansonin

Related reading: Hidden Lives Revealed, Dare to Be Vulnerable,

Navigate Change Like a Nomad

Cocoon, by The Wandering Angel

Grace to be interviewed live online
this Tuesday by Adela Rubio

Do you feel tossed about lately by our society’s intense rate of change? Do you long to find calm footing in a sea of chaos?

We live in a time of dynamic transformation. Find the opportunity inherent in this time by plugging into a navigation panel that provides stability even as you zoom.

By using the power of portable tools, we can consciously engage change and move forward into new growth with more ease.

Adela Rubio, founder and queen of Self Care Mastery, has invited me to participate in a one-hour live interview as part of her Self Care Mastery Interview series:

  • This Tuesday, August 25th, at 1 pm Eastern Time / 11 am Pacific Time
  • Register for the Navigate Like a Nomad interview
  • You’ll be able to ask questions during parts of the interview
  • The live call is free and the replay will be available for 24 hours

I’d love to be with you on the call. Thanks for forwarding this page to anyone you think would be interested. Let me know if you have any questions.

Flickr photo: Cocoon, by The Wandering Angel

Creativity Prompts | Pause and Reflect

Waiting for a moment, by ^riza^

Whew! After more than 200 Daily Creativity Prompts, I’m going to pause and reflect.

Don’t stop using the prompts just because there aren’t more being added. You can access them anytime, whenever you need a poke in the creativity muscle, via the blog sidebar’s Daily Creativity Prompts category link in the blog’s sidebar.

You can go on a trail of crativity prompts by following the links to other Creativity Prompts that are at the bottom of every prompt page.

Flickr photo: Waiting for a moment, by ^riza^

Related reading: Are We in Community?

Creativity Prompt | 202

What actor would play you in the

movie version of this project’s life?

Why?

~~~

Daily Creativity Prompts deliver a perspective-shifting zap to your creative process.
See Grace Kerina’s Creativity Prompts Compendium for more tools to spark your genius.
Related reading: Creativity Prompt | 60 ~ Talent Development Resources

Creativity Prompt | 201

Find a tutor.

~~~

Daily Creativity Prompts deliver a perspective-shifting zap to your creative process.
See Grace Kerina’s Creativity Prompts Compendium for more tools to spark your genius.
Related reading: Creativity Prompt | 153 ~ Oops! Wrong Limb

Creativity Prompt | 200

Exclusively focus on one clear goal,

all the way to completion.

~~~

Daily Creativity Prompts deliver a perspective-shifting zap to your creative process.
See Grace Kerina’s Creativity Prompts Compendium for more tools to spark your genius.
Related reading: Creativity Prompt | 141 ~ Collage Vision Boards

Creativity Prompt | 199

What would you do differently

if you had a thick skin?

~~~

Daily Creativity Prompts deliver a perspective-shifting zap to your creative process.
See Grace Kerina’s Creativity Prompts Compendium for more tools to spark your genius.
Related reading: Creativity Prompt | 169 ~ Book| How to Live With an Idiot

Pep Talk | Deviate

A New Path, by jurvetson

The more you follow your own rhythms, using your internal world as your compass, the more you deviate from the norm and live a more thrilling and expansive life. But be on the lookout – your deviations may cause others to trip over their own expectations.

To gain the fabulous benefits of being a deviant, you must be willing to risk upsetting other people’s expectations. If you succumb to other people’s agendas, your navigation will flounder in a fog of confusing motivations and you’ll end up pleasing others first. Then you’re just a hollow robot, plodding around in a circle until you rust to death.

An expectation is not an agreement. Know the difference.

An expectation without an explicit agreement is a land mine waiting to explode. If you land with both feet on someone else’s land mine, so what? They put it there. Let them clean up the mess.

Responsibility for an expectation always rests with its owner.

If the life that rises up – pure and compelling – from within you goes against someone else’s expectations, free yourself from the tangle by asking yourself two questions: Is there an explicit agreement? and Who owns the outraged expectation?

If there’s no explicit agreement being violated and it’s not your expectation that’s blowing up, then proceed along your merry, deviant way. Get used to the idea that it’s impossible to fix other people’s expectations of you. Let them go so you can go.

Remove the shackles. Take the weird road. Claim your inner deviant.

{ PEP TALKS deliver a bracing blast of Grace }

Flickr photo: A New Path, by jurvetson

Further reading: Pep Talk | Defend Your Territory, Crying and Staying

Creativity Prompt | 198

Ask a librarian.

~~~

Daily Creativity Prompts deliver a perspective-shifting zap to your creative process.
See Grace Kerina’s Creativity Prompts Compendium for more tools to spark your genius.
Related reading: Creativity Prompt | 80 ~ Make the Most of Your Public Library

Creativity Prompt | 197

Tell the soap opera version of this project’s life,

all the way to the end.

~~~

Daily Creativity Prompts deliver a perspective-shifting zap to your creative process.
See Grace Kerina’s Creativity Prompts Compendium for more tools to spark your genius.
Related reading: Creativity Prompt | 128 ~ Pep Talk | Revise the Story

32 Ways to Increase Your Income

Lavender Bee, by aussiegallThis list is much more powerful than its 32 individual ways. Do as many as possible to vastly increase synergy, energy, possibilities, inspiration, and forward movement. Do them all. Be you, be gentle, and still fill the coffers. {Links in curly brackets lead to related reading.}

  1. Contain and Focus – Set aside blocks of time to focus on increasing income. When that time ends, stop. Do something else. Limiting focus time increases the laser-beam quality of attention and avoids a fall into the everything-sucks vortex. {Pep Talk | Oh, Never Mind}
  2. Use the Buddy System – Buddies who love us see what we cannot, both the crap we’ve wrongly convinced ourselves is Truth and the brilliance we’ve lost sight of in ourselves. Two (or more) heads multiply effort exponentially. {Pep Talk | Reach Out}
  3. Invite a Paradigm Update – Whether you ask a buddy, a counsellor, a sponsor, a priest, or an in-law, choose someone who’s both wise and gentle. Ask them to tell you your blind spots regarding income. Just listen and breathe. Then go away and be alone. Thank them when you can. {A Forgiving Tale}
  4. Clarify – Know your targets and line ‘em up. Top priority is food on the table and a roof overhead. Know the specific of what’s needed by when. Focus on that first. Then clarify the medium- and longer-term goals that get to the heart of your dream. Give yourself a chance to shine by reducing the greatest stresses first. {Pep Talk | Think}
  5. Feel – Pain ends suffering. Feel the feeling – really dive in – for 90 seconds to shift and free up energy. We must enter the tunnel in order to see the light at the other side. See Conscious Finance, by Rick Kahler and Kathleen Fox. {Successfully Sensitive | Dr. Judith Orloff}
  6. Commune with Spirit – Excellent, energy-based, free, comforting, relieving recordings of Jo Dunning’s Abundance Project audio broadcasts are available on The World Puja Network (sign up for free, then search the broadcast archives for Jo Dunning). Record and replay often. {Simple Ways to Rejuvenate}
  7. Brainstorm and Barnraise – Small groups gathered to solve each other’s practical problems create synergy that moves mountains. See Barbara Sher’s book Wishcraft for how-to specifics about these effective tools. {Effectiveness vs. Efficiency}
  8. Focus on Quantity – Focusing on crazy, silly volume goals – not two calls a day, but 30, for example – can demolish blockages. A focus on “how many” vs. “why” can end the feeling of being frozen in place. {Pep Talk | Ask Anyway}
  9. Multiply Income Streams – A few or a bunch of part-time, on-the-side, mini-self-employed, here-and-there income sources add up. Many, many people earn all their income from patchwork sources. Begin with the easiest income stream, then add another. Then another. See Barbara Winter’s idea-packed book Making a Living Without a Job. {Joyful Self-Employment}
  10. Increase Income Reach – Make income go further by ferreting out deals and opportunities for people in transition. For example, in Canada, Medical Service Plan payment reductions are often available during rough patches. Credit card companies and other debt carriers often respond favourably to debtors who are pro-active, who call to ask for advice and solutions that won’t affect credit ratings – like minimum payment reductions and delayed payment. {Dare to Be Vulnerable}
  11. Ask a Librarian – We often don’t know what we don’t know. Librarians are professional informants. Use them. Keep questing until you find librarians whose eyes sparkle in the vicinity of question marks. Then build a relationship. Look around for special libraries, too, beyond the public sector. {Make the Most of Your Public Library}
  12. Check Out Government Programs – There are those in the public sector who want to help. Ask around. Search the Internet for programs and services offered in your area. And ask lots of questions once you find them. Uncover the free service gems. {Pep Talk | Find Inspiration}
  13. Plant Seeds – If you know exactly what you want to do and where you want to do it, but there are no positions currently available, launch a timed offensive. I know a woman who got a very sweet job because she was the right person for it and she made sure they knew who she was. She took in her resume. She checked back. She checked back again. She was pleasant. They hired her part-time, which led to full-time. {Book | Orbiting the Giant Hairball}
  14. Launch a Trial-and-Error Extravaganza – Set a time frame and do absolutely everything you can think of. See how many of the ways in this list you can get started on. However, this is key: evaluate the results. What worked best? What sucked? Forget what failed. Zero in on all the things that worked and do further trial-and-error extravaganzas. This is an excellent way to strengthen falling-and-getting-back-up muscles and become super effective. {Pep Talk | Ditch the Chasm}
  15. Ask an Expert Out for Tea – Who’s already doing what you want to do? Who knows what you don’t? Invite them out for tea (or coffee or a cocktail) – your treat. Ask and thank. People love to help. Let them. {Hero Practice}
  16. Find a Mentor – Whether through a formal program or asking an expert to become a mentor, consider doing an apprenticeship under the wing of someone you admire and get along with. {Sensitivity, Curiosity, and Leadership}
  17. Temporarily Take All Offers – A young friend who needed money by a certain date spread the word that for a limited time, she’d do just about any odd job. She did, and reached her goal. Set an hourly rate minimum that’s enticing and get ready to run errands, shovel manure, clean closets, can the beans, take care of the kids. Consider all offers (be safe and maintain your dignity all the while). {Pep Talk | Embrace Corny}
  18. Blow the Competition Out of the Water – The only job a friend of mine could get once was typing addresses onto envelopes all day. She hated it, but she really busted ass and within a couple of days was promoted into a more interesting job. {We Are All Magicians}
  19. Volunteer – The power of volunteering operates beyond targeting a specific field or company. Particularly in a small community, volunteering at a hub – like the Chamber of Commerce – can provide exposure to lots of people and show them what you’re capable of. Use the rumour mill to your advantage. {The Benevolent Love Bomb}
  20. Give Out Calling Cards –Don’t wait for a job to get a card. Card stock, a computer, a printer, and help from a buddy can yield business-card-sized cards with your name, contact info, and a mini-list of your best skills. Hand them out to everyone. This is a sensitive-person-friendlier way to network. If talking feels like too much, leave the card on the table on your way out the door. {Compass Titles}
  21. Start for Free to Get In – I know someone who got a prized job with a famous designer by offering to work for free to start. She got the paying job. Consider sweetening the deal in this way, particularly for a job you really want. {Interview | Carrie McCarthy}
  22. Teach What You Know –You definitely know stuff, even if it’s mostly about hobbies you’re devoted to. Make a list of what you know and love. Explore ways of teaching them. Continuing education centres (often associated with public school systems, colleges or universities, or community centres) offer such opportunities. Or pin a flyer to the bulletin board at the coffee shop and teach five people in your garage. {Joy Detective}
  23. Sell Something You Truly Love – It doesn’t really matter what. Do you have a favourite pen that people love to borrow? Sell them from your backpack, one at a time. Think sideways about this. Consider it another income stream. Make sure it’s something you really adore – enthusiasm sells. {Stay Afloat When They’re Rocking the Boat (the e-book I wrote and love to sell)}
  24. Start the Ball Rolling – Take steps toward your big dream, even if you also peddle yourself to whomever to get food on the table by next week. Taking any steps – even the teeniest ones – toward the most exciting income option generates big energy and brings the dream closer. {Book | One Small Step Can Change Your Life}
  25. Educate Through Skill Gaps – What additional skill would raise your value the most in your target income area? Get it. If it seems too costly to acquire, get creative with some of the other suggestions in this list to evoke synergy. Don’t assume you can’t just because the how-to isn’t obvious. {Pep Talk | Chin Up}
  26. Attend a Millionaire Mind Intensive – Laugh if you will. I did. I went with scepticism and a willingness to give it a try and was floored by the deep changes I experienced during this weekend seminar. Yes, there are hokey bits, but they’re backed up by logic and research. Yes, parts of it are rather loud. Yes, they try to sell costly programs. All of that and yet I – a very highly sensitive person – still recommend it. That tells you something. It’s free (they charge $100 if you sign up but then don’t attend). {Millionaire Mind Intensive}
  27. Pay for Expert Advice – If the advice of a professional will launch you into the next dimension of income-earning power, consider making an appointment. Choose carefully. Consider doing an advance informational interview, even if it’s short. Know what you want. {Pep Talk | Be Advised}
  28. Clear the Clutter – Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it. Energy sticks in stuff that’s stuck. We can unstick ourselves by letting go of what we don’t love or need. For easy, gentle encouragement see Karen Kingston’s little book Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui. {Pep Talk | Set the Timer}
  29. Sell the Clutter – Anything and everything you don’t want or need that’s of value can be sold. Choose the easiest route: Craigslist, yard sale, specialty online forum, classified ad. Consider this another income stream. {The Link Between Mess and Abundance}
  30. Relocate – Radical, but possibly worth considering. Can you move to a place that gives you a more-bang-for-the-buck lifestyle? Make sure you run toward something better rather than away from things that will follow you. Wherever you go, there you are. {20 Ways to Make a Decision}
  31. Contemplate – Tune in. Alone. Walk. Write in your journal. Meditate. Open space for ideas and creativity to find you. Loose up. Use your body. Rejuvenate. {Pep Talk | Dance}
  32. Look the Other Way – Life is a pie. Income is only one slice. Make the play slice the same size. If it feels too hard to set income issues aside, fake it to get started. This is absolutely not optional. See Ernie J. Zelinski’s The Joy of Not Working. {Play Anyway and Funny Practice}

Flickr photo: Lavender Bee, by aussiegall

Creativity Prompt |196

Be mysterious.

~~~

Daily Creativity Prompts deliver a perspective-shifting zap to your creative process.
See Grace Kerina’s Creativity Prompts Compendium for more tools to spark your genius.
Related reading: Creativity Prompt | 57 ~ Pep Talk | Dance

Creativity Prompt | 195

Talk it over with a tree.

Out loud.

~~~

Daily Creativity Prompts deliver a perspective-shifting zap to your creative process.
See Grace Kerina’s Creativity Prompts Compendium for more tools to spark your genius.
Related reading: Creativity Prompt | 5 ~ Book | Kinship with All Life

Creativity Prompt | 194

Brag.

~~~

Daily Creativity Prompts deliver a perspective-shifting zap to your creative process.
See Grace Kerina’s Creativity Prompts Compendium for more tools to spark your genius.
Related reading: Creativity Prompt | 7 ~ We Are All Magicians