When I talk with highly sensitive people, I’m often struck by the length of their pauses before speaking. If their brains are like mine, what’s going on is an intense sorting of all the possibilities, scanning and deciding which of the many things that could be said will be said.
Sure, I love the banter of a quick-witted exchange now and again, and I can usually hold my own in such cases, but I also feel a deep relief when in conversation with someone who shares my great respect for the mind-organizing pause. In fact, I’m often more eager to hear what a pauser will say, because I know they’re crafting a response to fit the situation, digging for layers, weighing options, and preparing to deliver thoughtfulness.
I want that. I crave the deep response mined from the earth of the silent pause.
“Certain cultures, such as that of the Inuit Alaskan Indian tribes, have embedded into their linguistic structure a pause. It is natural to simply wait. Think it out. Then speak.”
~ Gary Seigel, The Mouth Trap
Flickr photo: The Moment, by seanmcgrath.
Related reading: Multilingualism for HSPs, Pep Talk | Simply Wait
4 Comments
Yes! What *is* it with people who cannot wait a nanosecond or two for your answer?
One of my pettest of pet peeves is people who leap into my sentence, as I’m searching for the exact word that will give the most complete answer, finishing my comment, my answer, my response — and *always* saying 180degrees what I was *not* going to say. Or even, if I don’t answer soon enough by their standards, completing answering for me.
I look at them and say “please do me the courtesy of allowing me to finish my own sentence/ thought.” Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn’t. Usually I’m pegged as being rude.
I love this: “I crave the deep response mined from the earth of the silent pause.” I do! I do!
Aaah, permission to pause, be deep, and be true to my nature.
Thank you, Grace!
I’ll have to admit, I can be one of those chatty – enthusiastic fast talking and walking people (especially after a cup of coffee!)who can be so annoying…
And yet I know in the silence there is so much revealed – Thanks Grace, I really love this –
You all make me sigh with pleasure to know that I have kindred spirits out there.
Denise: me, too…especially if I’m really excited about something and have managed to temporarily disengage the brake that often exists between me thoughts and my mouth. There are times for that, I’d say.
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