How do we timid folks mingle at a party and still respect ourselves in the morning? If you want to avoid next-day reviews of your party performance without the forehead-smacking bad memories, follow these simple steps:
- Take time to attend to your appearance so it doesn’t distract you during the party. It’s not about standing out. It’s about being comfortable. Do the basic primping. Be clean and shave all the appropriate bits. Wear an outfit that helps you relax because you know you look nice in it. Help yourself feel as easy with your body as you can at this time.
- Pre-plan flexible exit strategies. Make arrangements that allow you to leave the party whenever you want to. On your own. Know the bus schedules or the taxi service’s phone number. Have enough bus or taxi money with you. Do whatever it takes. You can still leave the party with others, but if you have options you won’t feel cornered. Be free to go.
- Take a prop. Having something to fiddle with can cover the moments when you can’t think of anything to say. One of the best props is a small digital camera. Use it with respect. If you take photos that flatter people or are artistic or funny-for-all, you can show the photos at the party if someone asks to see. Be creative about your prop. The goal is to deflect the focus from you and/or to give you something to fiddle with when you need a break.
- Ask about what you want to know. You’re bright. You’re curious. You notice things others don’t. Use those qualities. Begin conversations you’re interested in having. Rather than wondering what will interest the person you’re talking to, tune in to what sparks your interest. You can even think about this before the party and arrive with leading questions. Be daring if you want – if that’s where your curiosity takes you – but also remember to be kind.
- Leave before you lose it. Go when you feel good about yourself, before you feel too overwhelmed to recover during a trip to the washroom. Leave earlier than anyone else if that’s what you need to do. Be gracious with the host of the party. Slip away. Enjoy your success.
Flickr photo: Party time! / Tiempo de Fiestas, by pasotraspaso.
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7 Comments
Excellent tips!
Grace, I love these tips! One of my favorites is to plan an outfit way ahead of time so I don’t end up being late (and overstimulated from worrying about it) by getting caught up in fretting about what to wear. Funny thing, I was just thinking of writing a blog post about that very thing.
Warmly, Jenna
Once again, Jenna, we find that we’re on the same wavelength – I love that.
I hope you’ll write your post anyway. I suspect you’ll have thought of tips I didn’t think of. The more tips the better!
Until soon…
You’re right, the digital camera does help. And also asking questions but sometimes it can attract more attention than you want :
I remember once visiting some excavations with a friend and his archeology teacher. He showed where the entrance was and the moats and told us how fire was always burning…I told ‘well I hope the winds were not coming from the same direction as now ‘cuz it would have smelled awful in there’ and the teacher was so interested he told me I was the only person who made the comment and spoke to me as if I was fluent with archeology. Even asked a few times about me to my friend afterwards.
Forget to say : beautiful photo, speaks about happiness.
Thanks for your comments, Agnes.
That’s a good point – perceptive or interesting questioning can draw attention – not always what we sensitive types want. It’s something to remember, though, when getting up the nerve to start a conversation with someone we wouldn’t MIND drawing attention from.
Yes, I’ve been really pleased with the Flickr photos available and generously shared – many of which are fabulous.
I found the article at http://www.succeedsocially.com/howtomingleatparties helpful personally.
A lot of what it says is common sense, but it has a section where it talks about different aspects of parties, and how you shouldn’t blame yourself too much if you end up at one where you’re going to seem more of a wallflower, just because of the types of people there.
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