highly sensitive power

One of the ways overstimulation overflows is through crying. Sometimes too much emotion, too much stress, too much too muchness wells up and out come the tears. What do you do then, particularly if other people are around?

My friend Kay doesn’t do much at all. I didn’t know Kay very well the first time we had a conversation that drew enough emotion from her to make her cry, so I was surprised that she simply kept on talking. She wiped her eyes but she made no move to leave. In a variety of subsequent situations over the time I knew her, she cried easily and stayed present, even if she was with someone she didn’t know well, or in the company of a group. I found it refreshing, and the lack of interruption that leaving the room would have caused meant that conversations and connections actually moved to a deeper level because of her willingness to let others see her crying. For her, tears meant strong feelings, and she considered that nothing to turn away from.

I met Kay many years ago. Since then, when I sense that doing so will allow me to continue or to deepen my connection with whoever I’m relating to, I’ve practiced crying and staying. The feeling of empowerment, of owning my tears in the moment, of self-acceptance on display, strengthens me even as the tears flow, and seems to soften the people I’m with, bringing love into their eyes, and a degree of reverence and focus to our connection.

If the idea appeals to you, when you find yourself in a situation ripe for experimenting, try crying and staying. Maybe you’ll discover a new way to be you in connection.

“There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues.”

~ Washington Irving

Photo from Grace’s family archives.